The Internal War

I could have lead onto many topics but thought this would be best. We all have different things we have to face with anxiety. Some of us have panic attacks, social avoidance, nausea, dizziness, urge to go to the toilet, insomnia, the list is so long that I would need a separate post to list them all. Even then I bet there would be some things which I didn't list people go through. 

For me public transport and being in crowded areas (so being in town and Saturday was a no go for me). Obviously avoiding public transport was not an option as I usually needed to take a bus or a train (or both) to work. At times I did want to take a taxi to work rather than putting myself through the anxiety,but paying out £20 each day to get to work wasn't really an option. I would usually get cramps in my stomach, nervous, sweating, wanting to know the closest place to be alone. Obviously this will not apply to everyone but its nerve racking (pun not intended). 

A lot of the times I knew I shouldn't be so worried, but trying to tell yourself that wasn't always enough. I would have to try and distract myself (with music, Youtube videos, Gameboy etc), as it would make the trip bearable. Sometimes it require a bit of preparation and a little distraction to get you by when things get a bit tough. This is the internal war some people face because we are feeling anxious when we don't want to be anxious which in itself can make us more anxious.

Crowded places are quite bad for me too. I don't like going into town on a weekend and would try and go in after work or do my shopping online. However it's a gradual process of going into one shop to begin with and then increasing the time you are there. Trying to have a back up plan if I didn't feel comfortable, like a coffee shop, place that you know well or  the quickest way to get out of town. Also rewarding yourself helps, so getting coffee if you go into town helps or buying yourself a nice little something; It all helps!

It does sometimes feel like you are fighting a losing battle but you can win, you just need to keep going and pushing yourself. The little things like taking a new route, being in a crowded space for a minute more are steps to overcoming your anxiety. 

It does sometimes feel like you are fighting a losing battle but you can win. It's all about finding strategies, coping mechanisms and the determination. I'm still going through it but when you have those tools, tools that work for you, it helps to makes it a lot easier.